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The Cranky Critic (oops, just found out we can’t call him that, as someone has registered the name), The Cantankerous Critic blesses us with his presence, with a review of an old classic:

Ending unreal, but Asian actress Nuyen is WOW!

“It begins slow but builds, then falls on its face with an ending that is way beyond suspension of disbelief. But in that regard it mirrors many of today’s movies, so…

I found the first half though to be ENCHANTING. Yeah, yeah, not a man’s word but in this modern age of wholesale murder and chaos and a cinema that basically thinks that isn’t enough and has to exaggerate further to the point of bloody insanity, this movie enchants. The chemistry and interaction between the old priest (Webb), the middle-aged priest William Holden and the young Chinese woman (France Nuyen) is touching and hilarious. I cannot recall a modern movie that made me laugh out loud like this one. It’s not slapstick or stupid lines involving sex or bodily function, it’s subtle and pleasant, two things long forgotten nowadays.

Father O’Banion (William Holden) and Father Bovard (Clifton Webb) are a couple of Catholic priests running a remote mission post in China in 1949. O’Banion has recently saved the life of a young Chinese woman Siu Lan (France Nuyen), who now says he is responsible for her life, as tradition dictates. She further makes him feel uncomfortable by falling in love with him and wanting to marry. Communist forces move into the area and damage the priests’ chapel and create overall havoc.

It is Nuyen’s utterly STUNNING natural beauty, her radiant countenance that makes this movie — her range of expression is beyond words. I have seen virtually all the great actresses and Nuyen almost shames them — really. When she smiles with joyful happiness I swear I almost started to cry. I have never seen such purity and honesty of expression. I couldn’t believe she was acting. Her sorrow, despair, anger, desperation, infatuation, playfulness are all so genuine it’s simply extraordinary. Okay, maybe I’m a bit thunderstruck, I mean her dialogue is pretty simple. But I can’t help it.

Together with Holden’s primarily stoic expressions which include only frustration, and the old priest’s constant sarcastic insults to Holden (because he was late in relief and the priest got caught up in the war), I had to often muffle my howls of laughter lest my neighbors wake.

I knew then it was too good to be true however and something terrible would happen to Nuyen. But if that wasn’t enough, then we have to be manipulated by a writer wanting us to believe that a priest will forgive absolutely anything — murder, rape, pillage, desecration. Not only forgive but even assist the bad guy. In fact the old priest gives his life for the rapist, and the rapist gets the lovely woman he raped and escapes China. Freakin’ brutal!! But damn I love Nuyen. Why couldn’t she have been cast in more movies — a cryin’ shame. Oh, yes, the portrayal of communists is way over the top also. All in all, it’s almost worth it to see Nuyen, so maybe just watch the first half and then pretend she and Holden run away together. Ahhh. So nice.”
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Satan Never Sleeps was based on the novel “The China Story” by Pearl S. Buck, who co-wrote the screenplay with Claude Binyon and Leo McCarey.

Cast: William Holden, Clifton Webb, France Nuyen, Athene Seyler, Martin Benson
Director: Leo McCarey

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